I searched and searched, far and wide
For someone,
Someone to hold me close,
To comfort me.. when in pain,
To cheer for me.. when celebrating,
To stand by me.. when I wanted them to,
I searched and searched,
And in time found people,
Who for a time would be there,
But never by me for..
For as much as I wanted them to,
I searched and searched,
Only to be disappointed,
And disappointed I was one too many times,
But even in pain I continued,
To search and search,
But then I found something else.
I searched and searched,
Only to realise in my frantic search,
I had failed to see that one source of steady affection that I always had,
In time I realised that it wasn't…
It wasn't the people in my life I was disappointed with,
Rather it was my expectations of them,
It isn't even right to say they weren't trying at all,
As I later realised,
It was rather also that there was a myriad of other things that concerned them,
I searched and searched,
And on the way the question arose,
Was I any different to them?
Cause if at all when I did try,
It wasn't at all for them,
It was but for me,
Even in the most genuine of my expressions,
It was but my way of showing what I wanted of them.
I searched and searched and
Eventually saw that there was but one.
One whom I had ignored all along,
One who was there all along,
Capable of and standing by me all along.
One who had been ignored,
In my frantic search for love,
In my efforts to express affection,
In my moments of happiness,
In my moments of pain,
In my never-ending search.
I was still there by my side..
I was still there,
All along,
In pain and in joy,
And the myriad of emotions,
The complicated overlapping ones
The simple but intense ones
I was still there by my side,
Though with my own limitations regardless.
So did the search end?
Well yes but actually no,
Cause there is but a lot more, …
To learn, to see, to discover.