On Relationships

A take influenced by polyamoury.

Polyamory advice applies to all relationships( by polyamfam on Instagram)

So I came across this video by polyamfam yesterday and it got me thinking.

He was right Polyamory advice works for all sorts of relationships, and the reason is simple. Cause Polyamory really isn't all that different!

It got me thinking as to what really was different in Polyamory, and the more I thought, the more I agreed with him.

The only primary difference between Traditional Monogamy or really any form of it with Polyamory lay in that the polyamorous may engage in multiple intimate relationships(maybe openly too) at the same time. But once we withdraw the distinction of intimate, it really ain’t too different.

At the end of the day, as much as I do feel that Polyamory is a lot more taxing in general, I have come to feel that really isn't the case. After all, though trying to engage in or engaging in multiple intimate relationships may feel daunting, it ain't unique to intimate relationships. In fact all relationships take time, labour, and energy to develop into fulfilling ones. And moreover though the nature of Polyamoury means that there’s likely more benefit in engaging consciously, having conversations on areas where there's a lack of clarity, confusion or likely a possibility of harm due to the unique personal traits of the parties involved etc, etc, engaging in a monogamous relationship would be just about as daunting for reasons unique to monogamy. Say for instance navigating feelings of attraction towards someone who is not your partner or engaging with feelings of jealousy or perhaps envy may be harder owing to lack of a script for navigating the same in nuanced ways across cultures, which may further complicate depending upon the agreements within the relationship, what it has been understood as by the people involved, the discrepancies in the same etc, etc.

Simply put no relationship is easy in isolation(Itself.). And honestly no relationship exists in isolation, each having a unique relation to the various relationships one has been engaged in from their Childhood. Which is why often when one hasn't resolved something, or is avoiding something, it would in time start affecting other relationships of the same person.

Hence let's hold space for one another when we can and when we can't, recognise our limits and gently, let others down and thereby hold space for oneself. This would allow one to engage more conciously with themselves and those around, allowing for meaningful relationships to develop the way one wants.